My reproductive specialist (and his colleagues), generally do not give narcotics to endo patients. Their reasoning makes complete sense. Endo patients, because of the chronic pain associated with the condition, tend to become addicted to pain medications. When I asked for pain meds, which I never do, my doctor gave me Voltaren. It takes the edge off the pain, but that’s about it. I still tend to have pretty strong pain. As a result, I’ve just given up on taking it. I don’t see the point of putting something useless into my system.
As of today, I am 3 weeks away from surgery. It can’t come fast enough. I can take medications for pain for another 2 weeks. After that, for the week leading up to surgery, I can only take Tylenol (which I probably won’t since it doesn’t help). I have never been a fan of Vicodin because it makes me feel loopy and truly high (not that I’ve ever been on a high from an illicit drug). I have taken Percocet for pain (leftovers from surgery I had in January for a non-endo issue). I know it’s not good to self-medicate, but I’m a smart woman and know what I’m doing. I’m not taking more than the prescribed dose and I’m not mixing it with other medications. Percocet too, has only taken the edge off the pain. I was desperate and my husband had some Vicodin from surgery he had last year. I gave in and tried one. I was in heaven! It pretty much killed all the pain, and I didn’t feel gross and disgusting while on it. I have been severely limiting my use of it: I only take it in the evenings when I’m not at work/out/driving/caring for my child; I also do not take it every day or even multiple times of the day. It’s just when the pain is so bad that I can’t take it anymore. I can’t be drugged while caring for my child and I can’t miss out on all the great things she says and does.
I spoke to my husband about my condition last night. We frequently have discussions about it. But, last night, I told him how I push through the pain in order to do things with and for our daughter. My husband would understand, if it was just the two of us still, if I were to just chill and lay down because I don’t feel well. The reason for this is that we’ve been together for so long and have done so many things together: trips, dinner, movies, amusement parks, etc. We’ve had a lot of fun together. So, taking a time out for a bit isn’t going to hurt us. But, for my daughter, even though she is young, I don’t want to miss out on anything. I push through the pain to put her first so that we can take her out to the zoo, aquarium, museums, etc. Summer only lasts so long in New England and we don’t have that much more time to get all the outdoors stuff in. I put myself behind everything else, so that we can have fun with her. I wish I would put myself first, but at the same time, I see how much joy it brings her (and us) to take her out to enjoy these things.
When I have surgery, I’m going to try to put myself first. For once, I’m going to try not to bounce around the house and actually try to rest and relax. I have never been good at that. I always overdo it and then pay for it later. So for those few days following surgery, I am going to try to put myself first so that I can heal. Once I do heal, it will be on to a new beginning!